CONQUERING
ADVERSITY
Six Strategies to Move
You and Your Team
Through Tough Times
C H R I S T O P H E R N O V A K
FOREWORD BY DAVID COTTRELL
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
Conquering Adversity:
Six Strategies to Move You and Your Team
Through Tough Times
Foreword
7
August 10th
9
Strategy #1: Affirmation
15
Strategy #2: Expectation
27
Strategy #3: Communication
37
Strategy #4: Locomotion
51
Strategy #5: Collaboration
61
Strategy #6: Celebration
75
Today
83
Nuggets of Wisdom
89
About the Author
93
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
FOREWORD
Chris Novak understands adversity and what it takes to overcome
it. He weathered the life-changing storm of losing his precious wife
and unborn son and from that experience has created a guide that
will benefit all of us.
This book needs to be read by everyone.
Adversity occurs without warning. It does not wait until we are
ready, doesn’t check our schedules and will not give us time to put
a team in place or develop a contingency plan. Adversity is an
insidious menace, disrespecting age, titles, achievements, wealth
and tenure.
The sources of adversity are endless – life, health, family, work,
finances, addiction, relationships – and each one challenges us to
be more than we believe we could ever be.
When life is good, it is human nature to believe we are immune
to the negatives others experience. We often settle into an “It will
never happen to me” mind-set, a “not in my backyard” mentality.
Then, when adversity strikes, we are shocked, disbelieving,
unprepared and often immobilized by the event, even though some
mechanism of the human spirit keeps us moving forward, one foot
after the other.
The unfortunate reality is that adversity is inevitable, often
appearing to be a series of insurmountable challenges that invade our
personal lives and threaten to derail our professional performance.
These are moments in our lives when we need someone
– 7 –
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
extraordinary to lead us. We need a hero. The good news is that
there is help – an inner hero waiting to be discovered and
unleashed at the very moment we need a champion most.
Conquering Adversity highlights Six Strategies to help us deal
with tough times – Affirmation, Expectation, Communication,
Locomotion, Collaboration and Celebration – strategies that
have been tested in the fires of real-life crises and offer a proven
plan to create successful personal and professional results amid the
ashes of life’s challenges. The principles in this book are absolutely
foundational to your success in overcoming adversity.
Conquering Adversity is about:
© creating extraordinary success in the face of impossible odds.
© not trading tomorrow’s dreams for yesterday’s nightmares.
© delivering value at work by finding value at home.
Conquering Adversity is built on the premise that each one of us
is bigger than any calamity, stronger than any problem, and that we
have the power to move forward even in the most difficult
circumstances. We CAN move mountains.
This book is inspiring. It introduces you to the hero you already
are and gives you Six Strategies to discover that inner hero when it
matters most.
When adversity comes, will you be ready?
Begin your journey now.
David Cottrell, President and CEO
CornerStone Leadership Institute
– 8 –
C O N Q U E R I N G A D V E R S I T Y
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
AUGUST 10TH
“This is the sheriff’s department…Your wife has been
in a bad accident…You need to go to the hospital immediately.
Please…”
It was just another Monday when that call came in. As a
human resources manager, I was meeting with two health insurance
representatives at a ceramics manufacturer in Syracuse, New York.
The phone rang, and I reached for it as I had done for the past
seven years.
Nothing marked that moment as the beginning of something
horrific, no hint that my world had already started to collapse, no
warning that an inconceivable nightmare was unfolding. It was
just a phone call.
As I picked up the receiver and glanced out my window at the
overcast day with its gathering clouds, I could barely comprehend
the words being spoken. It was just past 3:30 on the afternoon of
– 9 –
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
August 10th.
I do not remember hanging up the phone. I was shaking, my
knees were weakening, my stomach was churning, and confusion
held me in its grasp.
I ran to my boss, Plant Manager Wayne Zitkus, who was holding
a manufacturing managers’ meeting in a nearby conference room.
I burst in, babbling something about having to get to the hospital
because Cynthia had been in a bad accident.
Wayne stood up, reached into his pocket, pulled out his car
keys and said, “I’ll drive.”
Racing through hospital corridors and up elevators, I found the
trauma center and was stopped just short of double doors that read
“RESTRICTED.”
I kept asking, “Is she alive?” “Can I see her?” “How badly is she
hurt?” “Is the baby all right?” Cynthia was seven months pregnant.
The answers were few and incomplete. A nurse gently led me to a
small room just outside the operating room.
For nearly two hours I waited. I sat. I paced. I cried. I prayed.
Nurses came in and out to offer an encouraging word, but no one
could give me news or peace. I could not talk or think. I could
barely breathe.
Shortly after Wayne and I arrived at the hospital, my good
friend Rick Synakowski ran down the hospital corridor to meet us.
The news of Cynthia’s crash was all over the media, and Rick had
wasted no time in finding me.
In that small room, the three of us sat, waited and prayed. Three
men at the edge of emotional strength kept a silent vigil that heaven
– 10 –
C O N Q U E R I N G A D V E R S I T Y
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
would send a miracle. But there were to be no miracles that day.
He entered the tiny room shortly after 5 p.m., his surgeon’s
gown soaked in sweat, his hair matted and his face drawn, but the
first thing I noticed was his eyes – looking away from me for just a
fraction of a second.
When his eyes found mine again, I knew the truth. My tears
started before he spoke a word.
In memory as in reality, that moment took on surreal dimensions.
It was not happening, and yet I knew it was happening.
I was aware of the sounds and movements in the room, but it
was as if I were watching it all from somewhere else.
The surgeon sat across from me, squeezing both my hands and
fighting to hold his composure.
“Your wife died,” he said. His voice was calm but broken. He
told me how desperately they fought, how they did everything
humanly possible. Yet, in spite of everything, my wife and baby had
died on the operating table. He told me again how hard he had
fought, how hard she had fought. He squeezed my hands tighter.
“I am so, so sorry. There was nothing we could do,” the surgeon
whispered. “I am so very, very sorry.”
Then he hung his head and cried with us…for how long I don’t
know.
My tears were suddenly interrupted by an irrepressible desire to
see her again.
“I have to see her,” I said to the surgeon.
“I understand,” he replied. “I’ll take care of that right now.”
In that moment of ultimate anguish, I needed to talk with her,
– 11 –
August 10th
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
just as I had always done. I needed to tell her that Ryan, our nine-
year-old son, would grow up to be a man she would be proud of,
that I would take care of him, that I would watch over him, love
him, hold him, and raise him with every ounce of energy I had.
I told her that my love for her was eternal. I told her all these
things, and I know she heard me. I know Cynthia heard me
because the man that left her side had a new spirit in his broken
heart, as if she had spoken, telling me to go and take care of our son.
I now had one more agonizing labor that day.
I did not know how to tell Ryan what had happened. How do
you tell a little boy about such a terrible tragedy?
I just wanted this to be over, to awaken from what had to be
a nightmare. Ryan was waiting for me as we pulled into Rick’s
driveway.
“What’s wrong, Daddy?” he asked as I closed the truck door
and took a deep breath. “What’s wrong? Where’s Mommy?”
His eyes looked up at me with such fear, such anxiety and such
pain. Somehow, he had sensed the horror of the moment.
As a light rain started to soak both of us, I bent down, looked
him in the eyes, put my arms out to his shoulders, and said the
only words my mouth would form. “Ryan, I am so very sorry…”
His tears started.
“I don’t know how to say this…”
Tears streamed down his cheeks, and I could feel him shaking.
As I went to hug him, Ryan bolted from my arms. Crying,
angry and afraid, he shouted, “No, no, no…,” and then he did the
only thing a nine-year-old would know how to do when he was
– 12 –
C O N Q U E R I N G A D V E R S I T Y
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
scared. He ran… from me, his pain and the horrible truth just
handed to him. I ran after him, but realizing I could not catch
him, I stopped.
“Ryan, I need you,” I shouted through the rain. “I need you.”
He stopped in his tracks, turned toward me and raced back to
my open arms. I hugged him tightly, and we both just cried.
I did not need the lessons of 9-11 to remind me about the
importance of family. I know firsthand what it is to have everything
taken from you in the blink of an eye. I have lived the nightmare
of answering a call that changes your life forever. I know what it is
to pray for a miracle that never comes.
I know what it is to collapse in grief and cry so hard that your
body convulses. I know what it is to lie awake night after night
because it hurts too much to dream.
I also know how to stand back up. I live the Japanese proverb,
“Knocked down seven times, stand up eight.” I know what it takes
to regain a life lost.
In the years since Cynthia and Hunter’s death, I have discovered
a strength, resilience and ability to move forward that I did not
know I had. I found purpose, happiness and love amid the ashes of
a shattered life. I have shared these insights with my son, with my
family, with my friends and colleagues, and I have watched as
these insights have helped all of us arrive at a place of peace and
success in our personal and professional lives.
– 13 –
August 10th
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute
In time, I translated my experience into a motivational message
that many people tell me has changed them for the better.
Conquering Adversity: Six Strategies to Move You and Your Team
Through Tough Times is the organized collection of insights,
experiences and actions that made a difference in my life. They
can make a difference in yours.
This book offers insights as unique as each individual. As you
read it, consider the obstacles, barriers and adversities in your own
life – at work and home. My story may be unique, but my message
is universal, and for those who hear with their hearts, the outcome
is always the same – a renaissance of inner strength that we all have.
Listen closely and feel the power.
– 14 –
C O N Q U E R I N G A D V E R S I T Y
Copyright c CornerStone Leadership Institute