Acknowledgments Research Behind I Wish You Would Just ... Where do you start when attempting to thank everyone who supports you? I’ll start with those most important to me: my family. To my wife Shonn – and kids Andrea, Tatum, and Walker – thanks for allowing me to do what I do. Thanks for dealing with my travel so well; thanks for getting Dad the coffee; thanks for being quiet when he needs time to get things done! My wish for us is to continue to grow as a family. I also acknowledge the countless managers and employees I’ve worked with over the years who, in one way or another, are all part of this book. And a special thanks to my associate, Lee-Anne, who has put up with me, professionally, for more years than anyone else. Finally, a sincere thank you to my co-author, Kyndra, who has helped pull this true labor of love together. ~Todd In 1997, we started researching what managers could do to help their employees be more productive. Through face-to-face meetings, paper-pencil surveys, and e- mail responses, we talked with close to 2,000 employees. We asked each to finish the statement: “I wish my manager would just ....” As we began to share our findings with managers, we heard their plea for equal time. Thus the concept of this “flip book.” By the time we went to print, we had also talked with hundreds of managers – having them finish the statement, “I wish my employees would just ....” This book presents the top responses of both employees and their managers.   While not in any priority order, they do constitute the most common concerns ... the most common “wishes.” Todd McDonald 4

I don’t mean just casual chit chat ... I mean really talk. Sure, we do have occasional conversations. But far too often, I feel that   we’re just barely scratching the surface of things. More times than not, we don’t communicate the way we both know we can and should. One of the things we don’t talk enough about is how I can be more succes- ful here at work. I want to do well. It’s important that I do well. It’s in both of our best interests that I succeed. And the way I see it, you play a huge role in making that happen. Ever wonder what you can do to increase my motivation, commitment, and the quality of my performance? Well, if you really want to know, try focusing on what I have to say. Stop searching everywhere else and go straight to the person who knows best: Me! I have some definite feelings and concerns that you need to be aware of. And sharing them with you is what this half – my half – of is all about. The following pages contain some of my thoughts and ideas on what you can do to increase my level of success – and enhance your own in the process. I’ve communicated them as openly and honestly as I can. Please take them seriously; try to accept them with the same degree of sincerity that I’ve put into writing them. My hope is that we can use them to build an even stronger and more productive working relationship – one where we both come out as winners. So, to help me be more successful ...   an we talk? I Wish You Would Just ... C 5

I wish you (my manager)            would just ... My ultimate wish                                                       listen and understand tell me what’s going on recognize that I have a life outside of work ask for my input and take it seriously let me learn from my mistakes let me do my job teach me what I need to know make the tough calls do what you say you’ll do say “thank you” – page 7 – page 9 – page 11 – page 13 – page 15 – page 17 – page 19 – page 21 – page 23 – page 25 – page 27 6

I wish you would just ...           t sure would make me feel a lot better – and a lot more motivated –    if you would make an effort to listen to me more often. Does this mean I ex- pect you to agree with everything I say? Of course not. I understand that you won’t always agree with me just as I won’t always agree with you. Besides, it’s not complete agreement that I’m really looking for. Certainly, I know that some of our conversations are more important than others. But regardless of their importance, I need to know that you’ve under- stood me ... that you’ve taken the time to hear me out and are really trying   to understand. I’m not asking for all that much – just that you make an effort to really consider what I have to say. It’s not that you never listen. You have on many occasions. But sometimes ... I don’t know ... it just seems like you aren’t receiving the messages that I’m sending. I know you’re busy, but I also know that you want me to communicate with you. Sometimes when I try, however, I can tell your mind is in another place. It’s frustrating to talk to you when you are preoccupied, when you derail my train of thought by interrupting before I’ve finished speaking, or worse yet, when you take an incoming call and put me on “hold.” It’s especially frustrating for me to hear that I am one of your most “valuable resources” and yet feel as though my voice has no volume and makes no impact. 7

It’s not like that all of the time, of course. There are definitely times when I do feel as though you’re paying attention. I can tell because you look me in the eye, you ask good questions, and you wait until I’ve finished my thought before responding. When you do listen, I sense that I’m not only getting you the information you need, but also that my perspective is valued. I usually leave feeling better than when I walked in. Next time I talk with you, I wish you would remember to really listen and try to understand as well. If you do, I’ll do my best to reciprocate – and we’ll be well on our way to improved communication. When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true communication and relationship build- ing. Opportunities to then speak openly and to be understood come much more naturally and easily. Seeking to understand takes consideration; seeking to be understood takes courage. Effectiveness lies   in balancing the two.         ~ Stephen Covey 8